Time of the month. Surfing the crimson wave. Auntie Flo. Whatever you wanna call periods, quite a lot of female humans on the earth get them, and a large percentage of those gals opt for tampons as their magical saviours, to help keep things under control and stop the world being flooded by liquid uterus wall.
There's no doubt about it - tampons are great, but have you ever realised just HOW great? It's not just periods that you can use 'em for. You're gonna want one if you're stranded on a desert island, trying to spruce up your bedroom or even preparing a roast dinner.
So here's 23 unexpected (some serious, some not so serious) uses for tampons to make sure that you never leave the house without one again.
1. Curling your hair
This is an actual, real thing that you can do if you don't have any proper curlers, and beauty gurus have proved that it genuinely works.
2. A medical bandage
Cut open some form of limb on a sharp rock during your expedition? Tampons are sterile and absorbent, aka the perfect bandage. You're basically Florence Nightingale with a tampon at hand.
3. A DIY fishing bobber
Make the bobber with the tampon sleeve by folding over and tying off the top to create a little bubble that will float your bait, and then simply tie it to your fishing line. See, tampons can even feed you.
4. A very basic water filter
Well this is NIFTY. Tampons can filter out sediment and floating bits from dirty water, so shove the tampon into the neck of a bottle, cut the bigger end off and pour the water through. It'll come out nearly crystal clear.
5. Fire tinder
It's actual science that cotton makes excellent fire tinder, and so of course does cotton wool. Pull them apart and the dry material will burst into steady fire when hit with a flame. You can split one tampon into about four fire tinder piles. Chuck in some chapstick for an even stronger fire.
6. Wick for a survival candle
The string on a tampon can be used as a wick in an improvised candle. Alright, so you'll also need some animal fat or pine sap as wax, but after the string soaks up some of the fat, it can burn solid for 20 minutes.
7. A handy sponge
Well, duh. The whole point of tampons is that they're mega absorbent, so we're guessing you could probably take it in the shower with you for a scrub if you really wanted to.
10. Waterproof match casing
Tampons need to be kept dry in everyday situations, so obviously their packaging is designed to be waterproof. It's perfect for storing other stuff that needs to stay dry - like matches, if you're into your survival stuff.
11. Soak up spillages
Well who needs kitchen paper eh? ABSORBENCY.
12. Tackling nosebleeds
As demonstrated by Amanda Bynes in She's The Man.
13. Ear plugs
Let's be honest, you can stick a tampon into any nook or cranny you fancy really (ahem), so if someone won't shut up during a sleepover then tampons in the earholes might just be the answer to all your problems.
14. A pan flute
14. Dangly earrings
We're pretty sure that Kendall and Gigi will be wearing these next season in the name of eco-fashion.
15. A cat toy
Tampons can also be very useful when it comes to your OTHER pussy. Oh god sorry.
16. Last minute Christmas decorations
Had a leak in the loft and found all your Xmas deccies have gone mouldy? Have no fear, just fan out your tampons, get the glitter glue out and craft yourself some ANGELS.
17. Smuggling alcohol into places
Not that we're condoning smuggling alcohol into anywhere (we're NOT), but for anyone who does happen to enjoy breaking the law, plugging the end of your tampon tube and filling it up with booze is fairly genius.
17. Plug a bullet wound
If there's one thing that tampons can handle, it's blood. So now you know what to do the next time you encounter someone who's been shot.
18. Tying up your roast lamb joint
No string? NO PROBLEM. Snip it off your tampon and the family roast dinner is saved, thank gawd.
19. Tie clusters on ends of bike handlebars, watch them flap in the wind
They might even play a tune if you cycle fast enough. OR MAYBE MAKE A WIND CHIME.
20. Fake fairy lights
Well aren't these just delightful. Move over Kirsty Allsopp with your pom poms and your weaving, we're the new craft queens.
21. The perfect Action Man fancy dress costume accessory
Put together your GI Jane costume, only to realise you forgot to buy a bullet belt? Not to worry, you can just have a tampon belt instead. No one will notice, we promise.
22. Making sure your toe socks don't lose their shape
Everyone knows there's nothing worse than shapeless toe socks. Slide a tampon into each toe at night time when you fold them back up in your draw, and you'll never have anyone commenting on your mis-shapen toe socks again.
23. Pretending you own a Kylie Jenner lip kit.
No one will ever notice.
GENIUS. Never be without one again - whether it's to kindle a fire when you're stranded on a desert island, or just to save a fellow female human in her time of need.
What's your fave surprising use for tampons? DO YOU JUST LOVE TAMPONS. Same, so let's have a chat over on Twitter @Sugarscape.
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