10 of the strangest things One Direction fan fiction has taught us about Harry Styles

"Suddenly Louis felt an unpleasant trickling sensation dripping into his canvas shoe..."

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If there's one thing we know about Directioners, it's that they're creative. But forget flashmobs and hiding in bins as One Direction fans are never more imaginative than when it comes to writing an elaborate and often fairly filthy fan fiction starring the lads.  

And if there's one thing we've noticed from reading all this, it's that we seem to have missed a few things about Harry Styles. Important things like that his greatest desires involve both biting people and dressing up as Robert Pattinson.

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Who knew fictional 'facts' could be so fun? Here we go.

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Kissing makes Harry Styles angrier than the Hulk.

"I opened my mouth to say something but was stopped by Harry shoving his tongue into my mouth kissing me forcefully. I let out a groan at the impact of the kiss and bit down on his bottom lip roughly. That only made him mad even more, and he snuck his hands down to my ass grabbing it roughly. I kissed him back, running my fingers through his hair, pulling hard. This kiss was so intense and full of anger. Was it bad that I was enjoying it?"

From Rough Nite.

Dropping cutlery on Harry's crotch will probably make him want to have your babies.

"'I love you' Harry said as we stopped at a red light. He looked at me with nothing but love in his eyes, pure love.

'I've loved you since the day you dropped that fork on my crotch, the first day I met you,' he said as he smiled pulling away from the kiss."

From For The First Time.

Harry Styles has a secret and it involves dressing as Robert Pattinson.

"I think she is done explaining, but then I catch glimpse of the most gorgeous figure I've seen in my life. "Who. Is. That.?" I anxiously ask. "That is H A R R Y S T Y L E S, the most sexiest, to-die-for, dreamy guy to walk the earth. He is also single. But nobody here seems good enough for him. But why would we be I mean look at him."

And look at him, I do. I look at his curly brown hair and his, from what I can tell from here, blue-green eyes. I look at his slightly apparent dimples that I can barely make out because he doesn't seem to be smiling. That's when I notice that he is staring back at me.. I look away quickly but there is this yearning to see him again. I turn back around and see him still staring. What is he looking at? I probably look like a zoo animal compared to them."

From One Direction Twilight

Looking directly into Harry's face may cause blindness

"Looking up he saw a mountain of gorgeous dark brown curls, and looking down he saw a face worthy of gods. He didn't dare look farther than that, because who knew what could happen if he did."

From Happily Ever After

Sometimes Harry and Zayn like to bond over their inner tormented souls.

"Zayns POV: Part of me felt like I should be doing something; telling Harry he's the biggest scumbag on the earth for hurting Helen. Beating the living crap out of him. Or anything really… but I didn't. I just stared at his green eyes which looked dark.

I recognized that darkness. I've lived with it for as long as I can remember. It reaches you when you lose everything you've ever loved. When your heart starts turning cold, not because of choice but by circumstances. That was me until I met Helen. Then thinking about this whole meeting. The operation. The whole thing. It all clicked and fell into place."

From A Step Away From Falling.

Harry Styles should not be allowed to drive a boat. It will end with him shipwrecking the whole of 1D on a desert island.

"He could have stayed like that for a long time, arms encircled with the other boy as though they were merging into one person; but suddenly Louis felt an unpleasant cool sensation trickling into his canvas shoes. He jumped back in alarm, as he searched the ground for the perpetrating substance. It didn't take him long for hideous realisation to dawn on him as he looked around the floor of the corridor.

Water. Water was seeping in from the walls and flooding the corridors. And that could only mean one thing. His eyes locked on Harry's once more, silently communicating dread as they both drew the same conclusion. The ship was sinking. And they, along with hundreds of others aboard the ship, were thousands of miles away from any sort of land or port."

From Lost In Paradise. And yes, we thought Harry was going to have wet himself too.

Harry Styles' lips being in close contact with your face may make you want to throw up.

"'Delilah can we please stop fighting I wanna be-' he tried but I stopped him.

'Friends Harry? Cause that worked out so well the first time.' I huffed.

Before I could think or say anything to him I found his hands scooping my cheeks and then something even more uncalled for. His lips on mine. I stood there confusingly as he crashed them into mine making me dizzy as my stomach tossed and turned at his touch."

From Ugly Duckling

Forget Harry being a Potter fan because apparently he's more of a Draco Malfoy type.

"The first time Zayn met Louis was after Liam and his family said their goodbyes, having to leave early for Liam's farewell party. The very pretty boy with the cheekbones (as Zayn's mum would always refer to Louis as before finally remembering his name) was being shoved hard unto a shelf in Ollivanders as the old shop owner disappeared into the back room to find him a wand. The culprit had wild unruly curls and eyes that are too big for such a small boy, in the times to come he would learn that the curly menace's name is Harry Styles and his favorite past time would be shoving Louis into any surface that happened to be near them regardless of whether or not it was flat.

Harry smirked rather smugly at Louis before he left, it looked like he came into the shop for the sole purpose of bruising the boy."

From Quietus.

No, that isn't just a banana in his pocket.

"'You want me.' It wasn't a question, but a statement. He pressed his body against mine, his foot sliding between my two. I let my hands slide down his chest to his abs, feeling the dips through his shirt.

'You want me.' I countered.

I found myself hoping that the hardness lightly pressing into my thigh wasn't his wallet or mobile."

From The Thin Line

Well we officially feel disturbed, but we kinda love it. What do you think? Any gems we've missed?

Probably best we cleanse our minds with a nice video of Harreh talking about boobs...

What do you think?

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