If you spend a large proportion of your time wishing life was more like a work of fiction and less like, well, reality - you'll identify with the sad process of having to come to terms with life's disappointing trajectory.
These are the twelve sad realities we must all confront in our acceptance of reality. Alas, the world will still keep spinning on.
1. This kiss is never going to happen to you. NEVER.
Even if you try and re-enact it, it's not going to be the same.
2. Apologies are unlikely to go down like this.
You'll be lucky to get a half funny/half serious WhatsApp message after a day of sulking.
3. You won't discover a secret hidden gift.
You're not a member of the wizarding world, and you can't bend spoons with your mind. Stop trying.
4. You don't just get given a job by being good fun in a toy shop.
The owner of FAO Schwarz is not going to give you the promotion of a lifetime for your giant piano skills.
5. This man is not our prime-minister.
And quite frankly, it's an OUTRAGE.
6. A mysterious life coach isn't going to turn up and point you in the right direction.
You're gonna have to figure out your choices on your own.
7. Teachers are not like this.
They spend half the lesson handing out photocopies and the other half telling everyone to keep quiet.
8. Channing Tatum is unlikely* to be your college roommate.
*DEFINITELY NOT GOING TO BE.
9. You're probably not a secret princess.
Well, you could be, but we're not about to bet our life-savings on it.
10. Nobody is going to write you a letter every day for a year.
Nobody is even going to write you a SINGLE letter, 'cos who actually does that?
11. You don't win those things that are 57856509/1.
Including ever winning a fiver on the lottery.
12. And finally, school dances don't look like this.
They're held in your school hall with gum on the floor and the chairs stacked by the side.
Dreams = crushed.
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