The official travel guide to the seventh circle of fandom hell

It's high time we showed you around

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It probably started with an innocent browse the web, before quickly and dramatically descending into you begging for mercy as your devotion to your favourite band/book/tv series plunged you into fandom hell. Which as we all know, is also fandom heaven. 

But let's be honest, you ended up in the seventh circle a *long* time ago now, so it's high time we showed you around properly.

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1. To the left we have the discarded Mountain of Merch

Probably gathered from every tour throughout history, with the expectation being that you'd wear the clothing and wave the glow-sticks for the rest of your life. Obviously this wasn't a practical goal, hence the mountain.

2. Head North for a while and you'll arrive at Fan Fiction Fort

Nobody really knows what goes on here, beyond the fact that there are libraries stacked with every possible AU the human mind is capable of thinking up.

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3. Just past that is the land of Dubious Internet History

Where squads of professionals attempt to eliminate the weirder searches from the system. So far they've been unsuccessful, but they're the best team we have.

4. If you follow the creek by the river you'll discover Duplicate Album Bay

Complete with hundreds of editions of albums that were gifted to fans, despite the fan already having a copy. Stacks of these are sent out to non-believers in the hope they'll give it a listen.

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5. Straight ahead is Unlimited Conversation Corner, complete with a debate stage

The main social area in the community. There are many factions in the fandom, so things can occasionally get heated.

6. To the right of that is the Official Volunteer HQ 

Where teams of volunteers can be found working towards ensuring Hiatus provisions are well stocked.

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7. And head up to Floor 2 for Emergency Services and Patrol 

There's a free 24 hour patrol, accessible both in person and over social media, for when the urge to watch a particular fetus vid seizes you. The team have a wealth of information and will be able to link you to whatever you're searching for.

8. Oh, and in terms of hierarchy, Gif galvanisers are the most valuable citizens

They store and distribute appropriate images to raise morale, and are usually one step above the workers at Official Volunteer HQ.

So you're all up to scratch. Welcome to town.

Your thoughts on this? Let us know with a tweet @sugarscape or drop us a comment in the box below. 

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