You'll be very glad to hear that a real life LOVE GURU has given their verdict on Cheryl Fernandez-Versini and Liam Payne's new relationship, because if there's one more person who needed to weigh in on things, it's a love guru.
Ask anyone with working eyeballs and they'll tell you that Chiam looked super loved up on their date the other night, but according to expert Jo Hemmings, their love story is officially DOOMED before it's even begun.
OH GOOD. Nothing like a chirpy, romantic start to the day.
After examining the pics of Cheryl and Liam stepping out on their date in London earlier this week, Jo told the Daily Star that their body language as a couple is ALL WRONG. Because y'know, holding hands is a sign that you bloody hate each other.
"Liam looks a bit overwhelmed, almost like a rabbit in the headlights. I think he feels rather out of his depth in this relationship," she said.
"This is underlined by Cheryl's overhand squeezing of his hand – a rather sweet gesture of reassurance. It's as if she's saying to him: 'Don't worry, I'll make sure you're OK.'
"She literally has the 'upperhand' in this relationship and I can't see it lasting that long."
Cool, thanks Jo. They may as well split up now then, really. Why are we even bothering to write this story? CHIAM IS OVER, everybody go home and reflect on the romance that one was.
Well, it was nice while it lasted.
Whaddya think of all that, then? Sad to hear that Cheryl and Liam are officially DOOMED? It's a shame. Let us know with a tweet to @Sugarscape.
NOW READ THIS LOT TOO