When you're queen of the Kardashians, your daily routine looks a bit like this: Wake up in velvet bed, roll around in money, slay the world, take selfie, read endless ridiculous headlines about yourself and your family. C'est la vie de Kardashian-Jenner.
But because she's bloody great and takes it all on the chin, Kim Kardashian has used her website this week to address some of the crazy stuff that's written about her on a day to day basis, to clear up the stories once and for all and shut down the speculation.
Gathering loads of headlines after googling herself "for the first time in years", there's talk of bad parenting, divorce, more kids and even her 55 inch bum which, spoiler alert, isn't actually 55 inches at all. LIFE IS A LIE.
So here's what Kim K really had to say in response to some of the most recent stories written about her:
Kanye's secretly in love with Kris Jenner
"I've got to say guys, this is a fact." Err, we think she's being sarcastic.
North West was ignored when she fell down:
"North does this thing where she – if people are holding her hands she's just wants to be like, 'Swing me, carry me'. She was just playing around so she didn't stumble. It was a picture of me not looking at her.
"I was like, 'Northy, come on, stop,' and so I got my keys and I went to look forward and they got the picture of her being silly and her messing around and they were like, 'Kim doesn't even look around and she doesn't even care,' but she was just being silly."
Kimye are getting divorced
"I've definitely had my fair share of dramatic relationships. But honestly this is the most calm, and it's like 'nope' we are still together and we are happy so there's really nothing to report on."
They're trying for a third baby
"My husband might be trying for a third child but I am not, so I don't know, maybe that's kinda true but maybe not really true. If it happens it happens but I don't think we are trying, so maybe it's not true."
She's gonna sue Kylie
"Yes, I'm gonna sue Kylie! Get a life, that's my sister. We borrow each others' clothes. We have totally different styles but we don't even care, we don't even argue. Let alone to sue a family member - that's ridiculous."
She 'stuffs her 55 inch cakes into a pair if jeans' (nice)
"My butt is not that big. I'd say it's about 12 inches off, it's definitely not 55 inches."
So there you go.
Impressed that Kim's shutting down these ridiculous rumours? Kinda love her for it? Let us know with a tweet to @Sugarscape.