To celebrate the launch of The Sims 3 Seasons, we met up with TOWIE's Joey Essex and we all had a go at presenting the weather. It was all very strange yet oddly wonderful.

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Anyway between weather reading we grabbed Joey to find out how he really ticks, Scapers – we Stupid Interviewed him.

Right then Joey, give us your best insult.

My best insult? You're a pair of Capri Suns.

Ooooohhhh that's good... we've never heard it.

You've never heard it? Basically there's an island in Italy called Capri, and years and years ago – 'cause I try to say words and dress from the seventies, so back then in the seventies people said that in that place called Capri people were really silly. So it's a really old word.

We feel like we're learning from you.

See what I mean? It's one of my Joey Essex words, so to call someone a pair of Capri Suns you're calling them really silly. That's a good one.

If you were stuck on a desert island and you had to eat another celeb to survive who would it be?



No, he's not a celebrity, he doesn't do P.A.s.

Well, not at the moment, but maybe a bit over Christmas.

Well obviously I wouldn't wanna eat anyone because every celebrity and every person in the world probably tastes the same. Probably the smallest celebrity ever, 'cause I wouldn't have to eat as much of them. Probably Mini Me.

If you could spread a rumour about yourself what would it be?

That I am the coolest kid in the world and it's actually a true fact. Like "Oh my God, Joey Essex is actually the coolest kid, it's ridiculous." Even though I am sort of.

You're not doing too badly.


Would you rather never have pleasure from food or from sex?

That's pretty hard init?

We know.

After a very long pause he mumbles: I dunno, 'cause I couldn't really never have sex again, so it'll have to be food.

How do you feel about Marmite?

I used to not like it, but now I love it. My cousin Chloe used to feed it to me all the time when I was a baby and I hated it, but now I love it.

How do you have it?

On toast. But 'cause I like it a lot now, I put a lot on so it's too strong...

Right, so you're crossing the road and you see an old lady walking into the path of a huge lorry. At the same time you spot a baby playing with a really massive knife. Who do you save?

I'd save both of them. Got super powers so I'd get them both out the way.

Who do you think would be better in bed, Rihanna or Nicki Minaj?

Erm... I don't know how to answer that question. I dunno man... they're both quite grimy. They're both insane... They're both pretty dirty... They're a bit weird. Both the same.

What would you do if, hypothetically speaking, Harry Styles was coming onto your little sister.

I haven't got a little sister.

Hypothetically speaking.

I'd go "What's 'app'ning mate", he'd go "What's 'app'ning", I'd go, "Nothing really, you?" he'd go "Nuh", I'd go, "Do you wanna come out tonight?" and then we'd go out.

Where would you go?

Sugar Hut.

Thanks for that Joey, we feel like we've been on a real journey.


The Sims 3 Seasons is out NOW and available from

What do you think?