23 things you'll only really understand if you wear glasses

1. Being literally blind in the shower

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1. Opening the oven and having them completely steam up in approximately 0.1 seconds.

My entire world is a fog of self-doubt and confusion.

2. Going to see a 3D film and somehow having to manoeuvre the 3D glasses over your actual glasses.

And then feeling like a total div for wearing two pairs of glasses at once.

3. Same goes for wearing goggles in science lessons. 

Oh good, because I didn't look geeky enough already.

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4. Attempting to do exercise while wearing them and feeling them slide off your face with the sweat.

Unless you invest in one of those glasses strings and that just ain't happening.

5. And also facing the fear of them being smashed into your face if playing any form of contact sport.

Keep all balls away from my face. Ahem.

6. Getting caught in the rain and wondering why glasses don't all come with tiny windscreen wipers.

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It's 2016, people.

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7. The fear and dread of riding a rollercoaster and wondering if you'll be left glasses-less at the end.

Loop de loops are probably a no-go if you're being sensible.

8. People always asking to try them on and usually stretching them with their big fat heads.

What is this going to achieve? Why?

9. People saying OMG YOU'RE SO BLIND in pure amazement whenever they try them on. 

Yes, thank you for reminding me of my unavoidable impairments.

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10. Wanting to lie down on squishy cushions while wearing them, but not being able to find a position that doesn't smush them into your face or make them wonky on your nose.

Netflix and absolutely no chill if glasses are involved.

11. When you lose your glasses, but obviously you can't find them because you need to be able to see to look for them in the first place.

That's it, my life as a blind, crawling spinster has begun.

12. Waking up in a sleepy haze when you're desperate for a night wee, but having to find your glasses first before you can have said wee.

Either wee without being able to see, or wet yourself. That's the choice.

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13. Being literally blind in the shower. 

Is that shower gel or is that pure bleach? Only one way to find out.

14. The sheer embarrassment of not beign able to see a frickin' thing when the optician asks you to read the letters out on the light up board. 

Errr…. A? P? OH GOD I'VE FAILED.

15. Being an absolute failure at all water-based activity because everything is a blur.

Don't ever ask me to find the penny at the bottom.

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16. Kissing is VERY DIFFICULT to manoeuvre. 

Things get smushed, poked, smudged and prodded.

17. The feeling of pure and utter dread when you realise that you've sat/stood on them.

Are they broken? ARE THEY? Please please please please don't be broken.

18. Forever being left with patches in your makeup where the frames rest on your cheeks.

Why must my face be so round.

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19. Having to figure out the RIGHT makeup to make sure that your eyes don't disappear into tiny pinholes.

Am I supposed to wear eyeliner? Is a smokey eye allowed? It's a whole new realm of YouTube tutorials.

20. When your eyelashes look killer thanks to a great new mascara, but they also then brush against the lenses.

Whyyyyyyy.

21. Being told that you look SO WEIRD AND DIFFERENT when you don't wear them/swap to contacts. 

Err thanks, this is my face you know?

22. Sunglasses - Either see but squint in the sunshine, be blind but protected, or pay a million pounds for prescription glasses. 

Why is life so hard.

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23. Wearing non-cotton clothing becomes an issue, because tshirts are the only lens cleaner you bother with. 

No one carries a cloth round. No one.

The struggle is oh so real. Relate to all of these on a spiritual, optical level? Let us know with a tweet to @Sugarscape.

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