Yep we know it's first thing on a Monday and you probably haven't even had your porridge yet, but that doesn't mean we're going to save you from witnessing this video of a naked and hairy 'Simon Cowell'.
The internet is freaking the fudge out over this weirder than weird fly-on-the-wall footage, which fans reckon features Simon Cowell having a romantic bath and getting towelled down by his minions.
But before we say anything else, we'd just like to let you know that it's quite clearly NOT ACTUALLY HIM, although it is still hilarious/gross to watch.
Twitter's kicked off the week in style with the hashtag #OhNoSimon trending all over the place, thanks to the video which features a Simon Cowell lookalike sharing a bath with another lookalike of his Britain's Got Talent pal, David Walliams.
After sipping on champers in their bubble bath, 'Simon' gets a rub down from his humble towel servants, who use a hairdryer on his bum and backhair, before hoisting him into a super tight corset.
There's also some really quite disturbing fondling action which we will not speak of.
YES, it would be seriously outrageous if the video was actually the real deal, but the small detail that everyone's failing to realise is that the video actually comes from a BBC entertainment spoof news show called Celebrity Bitchslap News.
In the original 2012 sketch, a 'roving reporter' says 'Simon' and 'David' have knocked down the wall between their BGT dressing rooms, so they can 'share one harmonious happy hub'.
So thank GAWD for that, it's not really him guys. Sometimes the internet really does need to calm down for a sec.
Is this the single strangest thing you've ever watched? Let us know, we're over on Twitter @Sugarscape.
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