Well that's that then, guys - after much speculation Cheryl Fernandez-Versini's properly confirmed she won't be returning to The X Factor as a judge this year. Instead, she's gonna focus on all that popstar malarky as she works on her new album over in LA.
So you know what this means, don't ya? Yup - we've got three months of '[insert name here] to join The X Factor panel?' headlines to look forward to. Why break a habit a decade-and-a-bit old, eh?
Every man and his mongrel's gonna have their name chucked into the mix ahead of series 13 (THIRTEEN); so we thought we'd put some suggestions forward as to who we'd like to see on everybody's favourite telly talent show.
You listening, ITV? Here we go:
1. Jesy Nelson off of Little Mix
Why? 'Cos she's experienced the whole thing (and won it) herself and is just sassy af. She'd be the one being all blunt while the rest of 'em sat on the fence. Deadlock? Jesy Nelson doesn't know the *meaning* of deadlock, mate. She calls the shots.
The show needs someone well funny in a 'laugh with them, not at them' kinda way. Not that we ever, um, laughed at Louis Walsh. Nope.
3. Louis Tomlinson
LA LA LA LET'S PRETEND HE'S STILL DOING IT.
4. That 'Happy Monday One Direction' fella
Just because we don't feel he ever got the mainstream recognition he deserved. Where he now, anyone know?
A true lost talent.
5. Nicole Scherzinger (minus the 'balls' suffix)
The woman put One Direction together, for crying out loud. She knows her shit.
6. Liam Payne
In case Cheryl feels like coming back for judges' houses 'cos, like, it's gonna feel weird af without her.
7. Sam Bailey off of 2013 winner fame
Because she now sits around tweeting Greggs and it'd give her something to do.
WE JEST, WE JEST. She's actually in Chicago and pretty successful. But whatever.
8. Kris Jenner
Ratings crisis? Er, WHAT RATINGS CRISIS?
Purely to see what form of foliage she wore every week. Imagine the fash-offs; Hermès vs. a bunch of Hydrangeas.
'Cos we're sick of screaming at the bloody TV every weekend for the best part of four months claiming we could do it better. If you're reading this, Simon...
What d'ya make of those potentials, eh? Give us a tweet over @sugarscape and let us know who you'd like to see on the show. Cheers.
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