Tonight's X Factor: Union J and District3 bring out the ballads and Rylan has a harness up his bum

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It was Best of British week on X Factor tonight and the acts pulled out all the stops to show what they're made of. Frankly everyone was pretty awesome but we have to say we spent a large part of the show hopping about like we needed a wee after hearing that One Direction would be turning up at the end to play Little Things live on STOOLS.

Anyone who knows anything about boybands can tell you that when the stools come out, it's probably time to worry for the safety of your ovaries.

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Plus there was always the thought of Caroline Flack interviewing 1D on Xtra Factor after..

X Factor Judges

Anyway, enough about that, who was the best?

Apart from 1D, we were loving what District3 did this week. Stripping it all back, they sounds amazing to us and most of the judges seemed to agree, with Tulisa practically falling off her chair to praise them. Naturall Gary wasn't in agreement and apparently still can't see them as a successful boyband, but frankly it might be time he thought about getting himself down the optician to get his eyes checked.

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The other stand out performance had to be James Arthur who cast his usual magic and covered Adele's Hometown Glory in a way that  was fresh, new and frankly bloody awesome. Giving it a dubstep twist, it  worked in a way that really shouldn't have and naturally the judges loved it. Especially Louis who apparently reckons he's like a little Professor Green. He's obviously been reading Sugarscape again.

A special mention also needs to go to Rylan singing the Spice Girls with a harness stuck up his bum and having a tan that matched Geri Halliwell's hair. Oh and Ella's unflinching ability to make our jaws drop so far that an actual biscuit fell out of our gob.

Was there a fail whale in the room?

It's got to the point where there were no massive fails, although no matter how much the judges raved about it, we couldn't get on board with Jahmene's cover of Angels. As far as we are concerned, nobody but Robbie can pull that off unless they've got some serious hipthrusting ability. Jahmene doesn't, soz.

Ella Henderson

Did the first act fall victim to the curse? Can you even remember the first act?

Yes they did actually. For the record it was Christopher Maloney singing ( surprise, surprise) some Elton John, but we only know that as we rewoun the show to double check. It was fine but it didn't grab us and we were easily distracted by picking the fluff out of our bellybutton and the 500 Christmas and cash for gold adverts during the break. That probably speaks for itself, doesn't it?

Boyband watch:

What with 1D, District3 AND Union J in the building, it was a massive treat of a show and it was interesting that all three were on big ballads this week.

Union J's dedication to George's brother was awesome and they sung their fit little faces off. The judges comments were mixed, but they've definitely got Gazza Bazza well and truly sold on their Westlife style vibe. Scherzy even got a bit teary and we could totally imagine her blowing her snotty nose on Gary's sleeve when they went to the ads.

Anyway, George had his guitar out for the occasion, which is never bad, and it was nice to see Josh step up and take on the power notes that made their rendition of Coldplay give us some tingly bits around the spinal area.

District3 were also on form and were straight back up there after their less than great comments last week. Although we'd been hearing Greg would be playing the guitar this week, he contraversially ended up on stage without it at the last minute. It might've been a bit disappointing but as far as we're concerned, they still rocked it and if either group are in the bottom two, we'll be pretty shocked.


And now for a paragraph dedicated to Nicole.

Nicole, Nicole, Nicole.

Well, it was an emotional one for Scherzy this week and as well as getting out the patriotic tears (she know she's not British right?), she was looking pretty reserved in a white suit. Well she would've been if she hadn't spruced it up by wearing very little underneath.

A special mention has to go to Tulisa who was on TOP FORM this week and as well as referring to Gary as Grumpy Smurf, topped things off with her line about Louis;

"He wouldn't know Tinie Tempah from Tiny Tim."

She's got a point.

Bottom two?

Everyone was great, but we're a bit worried for Christopher and Jahmene..

Any clear winners?

To be honest, no. The boybands were on tiptop form, but so were James and Ella so who knows. After Rylan being in the bottom two last week after seeming like the most popular kid in the playground, we really can't tell what's going to happen. NOBODY IS SAFE, not even Louis..

So what did you lot think of it all tonight? Have any thoughts on who could be going?

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