Made in Chelsea Episode 5 round-up: 'I'm this close to giving you a slap'

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So what went down?

Quite a lot, actually. Cheska took Ollie and Binky for a 'spanking lesson' to try and cheer Binks up after the demise of Jinky - while Jamie got busy finding himself a new lady on a lads night out.

Said lads night out turned nasty when Andy informed Spencer that yes, he really does want to 'bang his bird' - while the girls rival night limped along without much to report.

made in chelsea episode 5

Francis Boulle and Proudlock didn't get enough air time in our opinion - although there was one scene where the Boulle-meister showed off some pretty nifty skateboarding skills.

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What's occuring in the romance department?

WELL: Louise and Spencer had some steamy shower sex (YES ON SCREEN - WE FELT VIOLATED) before Louise nipped out to buy a book with Andy (random) which p*ssed Spenny right off.

Binky got some advice from her mum about love rat Jamie, who was busy picking himself up a new girl - who said: 'I like players, I'm a bit of a player myself' when questioned by Cheska and Ollie.

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Then Sophia went on a date with Andy (he's a busy boy) only to kick him to the kerb when she discovered that he's still harbouring a not-so-secret desire to get into Louise's knickers.

Oh - and Cheska had a dalliance with a whip. Yes, really.

Made in Chelsea episode 5

LOL moments?

That spanking lesson - and Spencer's face as he heard it all going on while on the phone to Ollie. Some QUALITY lines from Mark Francis too - 'I'm so over nightclubs. It's not a good look.'

Cringe factor - these bits made us cover our eyes and scream WHYYYYY?

Andy telling Spencer exactly what he wants to do to Louise had us diving for the sofa cushion in a big way. WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT ANDY, WHY?

Who argued this week?

Spencer and Andy, obviously. In fact, Spencer told his rival 'I'm this close to slapping you' while holding his fingers a menacingly small distance apart. Lou and Spenny had a little tiff of their own too, after she became annoyed that he'd gone on a 'lads night out' the day before her return to uni. TOO RIGHT.

made in chelsea episode 5 roundup

Posh Watch:

When we meet our mum for a chat, it tends to involve the local starbucks - Binky and her mother met at the Dorchester Hotel. Swanky.

Quotes of the week:

"You've been a very naughty boy" - Cheska to Ollie, while spanking him.

"Boys at 23 are like girls at 15. So juvenile" - Binky's mum to Binky.

"Talking to goldfish is theraputic." - Ollie Locke

Well that was all very dramatic. Let's watch Jamie Laing, Cheska and Binky singing Bruno Mars to make ourselves feel better shall we?


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Images: E4

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