You know what Kylie Minogue, you can keep your disco fabulousness, your sparkling charisma and your perfectly formed bum, because we don’t want any of that, nope none. We have tonnes already.

What we do begrudge is you having the hottest man in the entire world for your boyfriend, and will therefore do everything in our power to prise him from your tiny, manicured hands.

Sugarscapers, let’s take some time to marvel at the heart-stopping fitness that is Spain’s finest export, model and Minogue lover extraordinaire, Andres Velencoso.

Er Kylie can you at least smile love and show some appreciation for the god that is trailing behind you.

OK, who here has the power to make Andres the next James Bond?

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We have a natural aversion to men in tight jeans. This has suddenly been cured.

We would type something insightful here but we're too busy excessively drooling.

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And the drooling continues...

OK. Ever heard of the saying "save the best for last"? Of course you have, we just wanted to bide some time before we show you THIS PIECE OF HEAVEN...

There's not a lot we can say right now besides, "don't worry, Lucia's his mother".

Now that was frickin' amazing wasn't it? We may need to go and have a lie down down. So bye.

Oh before we go, tell us how hot you think Andres is and arrange a date for us...