There comes a point in every teen boy's life when they decide it's time to become a man. But how are they going to achieve manliness? Hit the gym? Seduce a woman? Build a bridge? No, they need something with minimum effort and maximum impact. They will grow facial hair.
Every morning they scurry to the mirror and measure how much the bum fluff on their chin/lip has grown - imagining themselves with full, bushy facial hair rivalling Santa in its magnificence and bestowing them with wisdom beyond their years.
Oh Harry, why? Why do you get these ideas in your head? Why would you want to obscure that pretty face of yours with a horrible moustache? And... why Mario?
Plus, no offence, but we're not sure even if tried with all your might and willed those hairs to grow you'd ever actually achieve the Mario moustache. Mario has earnt that after years of performing manly tasks like jumping through pipes and destroying mushrooms. How many mushrooms have you beaten the crap out of recently?
Unless you're secretly trying to emulate another legend...
We know your game Harry Styles.
We love you and you make us laugh with all these facial hair jokes but if you actually try to grow anything we will pin you down and remove it ourselves. Ok? OKAY? Ok.
What do you think about Harry's moustache plans? What do you reckon his One Direction band mates think? Comments below please!