Hello Scapers. Last night a Mr Louis William Tomlinson of One Direction infamy announced to the world a shocking fact about himself. It has left us speechless and put images in our minds we’ve definitely never had before. (That might be a lie.)

Scapers, Louis has measured his penis.

During a Twitter Q&A session one user, appropriately named wand_erection69 asked: “Have you ever measured your penis?”

To which simply Louis replied: “yeah”

Yeah. That’s so frickin’ sassy we want to slap ourselves in the faces.

So Scapers we all know that this means: There is a ruler out there that has touched Louis’ Tom-dinkle-son.

Find that ruler, Scapers, find it and bring it TO US NOW.

*Throws computer across room, collapses on floor. Whispers: “Find it."*

The most immature One Direction story we've ever written

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VIDEO: One Direction talk penis jokes