How Louis Tomlinson got his sass

Forget everything you've been told, we're bringing the legend to life.

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Like many famous people there are aspects of Louis Tomlinson that have been kept secret, and today Scapers we are going to uncover the greatest secret of the all: How The Sassy One became sassy.

Yes Luigi was born with sass – that's something you don't just learn, however, Louis was not born human.

Scapers, what we are about to tell you is classified information, many have tried to stop the truth getting out, in fact our lives may be under threat for telling you this, but we're journalists goddammit and we strive to make sure the truth is out there.

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Scapers, the man you know as Louis William Tomlinson, The Sassy One, The Sassosuraus Rex, is in fact… A Sasquatch.


Here is one of the only existing images of Louis living in the wild as a Sasquatch. He was a lonely beast and longed to spend his time singing.

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However the music industry is not thriving in the land of the Sasquatch and he was ridiculed for his passion.

Feeling sad and defeated he turned to his one friend, the caterpillar.

Speaking to a caterpillar was totally pointless though, it's a bloody caterpillar from christsake.

Just when he was about to give up and resign himself to life living in the wilderness as a sad legendary creature, something miraculous occurred.

One day while Sasquatch was humming Survivor by Destiny's Child he noticed a man with high waisted trousers watching him from behind the trees. That man was Simon Cowell.

Lord Cowell was impressed with what he heard and beckoned the Sasquatch to come to him. Not quite believing his luck Sasquatch nervously approached him…

The rest, as they say, is history. Cowell immediately saw the potential in the Sasquatch and decided to shave him, put him in One Direction and let his sassy spirit shine though. He named him Louis Tomlinson.

And that dear Scapers is how Louis got his Sass. We may be sued by management, hell, we might even "disappear" in the night; but at least you guys now know the truth.

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