Niall Horan shared some pretty exciting news last night. No, it wasn't the name of the new One Direction single. No it wasn't that he's decided to hold open auditions for a wife. No it wasn- OH FOR GOD'S SAKE STOP GUESSING SO WE CAN TELL YOU ALREADY.
Sorry, we didn't mean to shout. No don't cry. Look you'll like this story, honest.
OK, so yeah - Niall shared some exciting news, revealing that he can now officially TOUCH HIS OWN BUM WITH HIS FOOT AGAIN after some pretty hefty knee surgery last year.
First time I've been able to touch my arse with my heel since I got the operation. Sounds so dumb, but it's a big day in my head haahah!
Oh, just imagine the squishy goodness. Anyway, this inspired us to take a look at all things Horan bum-related, because clearly nothing else could be more important.
We like to call it '10 things we know about Niall Horan's arse' and it's what journalism was MADE FOR.
Are you ready for this?
1. Niall was once told that his rump was too 'squidgy' for a tattoo. Speaking about the time he decided to get a 'Made in Ireland' inking on his bum cheek, Goldilocks said: "They said the skin on your arse is too squidgy. It needs to be tight. I suspect they did me a favour. It wasn't the best idea in the world."
2. The 'I love SC' MYSTERY. Despite this, Niall claimed to have found a tattoo artist brave enough to tackle the squidge - in order to ink 'I love SC' on his behind.
"It says I love SC and it's on my bum," said the Blonde Bombshell. We imagine this was a joke aimed at Simon Cowell, but we'd still like to check. For purely professional reasons, obvs.
3. Niall is a Virgo, but his bum is a Libra. Don't ask us how that works, it's one of life's mysteries.
4. Nialler's bottom can play one verse of Oasis tune 'Champagne Supernova' on the guitar. Just the one verse, mind. It's currently trying to learn the chorus to 'Little Things'.
5. Spotting a kitten struggling to get down from a tree one day, Niall's bum managed to coax it to safety using a combination of string and a large sock. It was awarded a medal by the local fire department.
6. Niall's bum is hoping to win 'Rear of the Year' in 2013. This year it cried for a solid week after losing out to Coronation Street's Shobna Gulati, and only stopped when Zayn Malik told a particularly funny joke.
7. The Horan butt conducts all Niall's phone interviews. Usually because Niall's mouth is filled with fried chicken.
8. In 2006, Nialler's bum auditioned for Big Brother. Unfortunately, it didn't make it through the first stages.
9. The only way that Niall can get to sleep is if his bum sings 'Three Blind Mice' ten times in a row.
10. All One Direction's important decisions must be run past Nialler's bum first. Even Simon Cowell knows this, and accepts it.
So there you have it - did you realise that there was so much to know about Niall's arse?
* Some of these facts are maybe a tiny bit made up. MAYBE.