With the teenage experience being such a well documented thing, it can be a bit alienating when your teenage years consist of you wiping wotsit dust off your face as you help your mum decide which taps match the kitchen best.
So, in the spirit of having an unusual experience growing up, here are ten things you'll only get if you're absolutely shit at being a teenager. Behold, your life.
1. You very rarely lie to your parents.
Mainly because you never do anything outrageous enough to warrant a lie.
2. You only stay up late to watch Netflix, not to party.
The only reason you'd be up at 3am is because you're binge-watching a series, not because you're skinny dipping with the football team.
3. You are overwhelmingly crap at dating/flirting.
It might seem like a pretty normal thing for teenagers to be crap at dating, but you take this expected crapness to extreme lengths.
4. You have weirdly immature/mature personal tastes.
Whatever the case, you're rarely into things aimed at your age bracket.
5. You've never attempted to climb out your bedroom window.
It really seems like the kind of thing you should do before age 20, but just THINK about the health and safety aspect.
6. You've never thrown an illegal house party.
Imagine the tidying up, the stress, and the inevitable grounding you'd eventually get? Not worth it. Besides, WHAT IF NO-ONE SHOWS UP?
7. Basically, you are not a rebel in any sense of the word.
There's no need to go through every possible scenario; point is, you're not likely to be arrested for disorderly behaviour.
8. You actually get along with old people.
Well, some of them, anyway.
9. You cross the road to avoid other teenagers.
Hmm, let's not risk any kind of awkward interaction today.
10. And finally, you literally don't care about prom.
It's not on your radar. Never has been. Never will be.
Anyway, you do you, guys.
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