And guess what? He's not a surly, hairy goth-rocker


Nor is he young enough to be our son. Or grubby enough to be a dustman. Or tattooed enough to be a fountain pen. He's just nice and normal and very successful. And 17 years older than her. Which throws up one question - what is he thinking?

Yes. It's true. Peaches Geldof - who is famous for doing not very much at all, hooked up with Eli Roth - who is famous for making horror film Hostel and making an actual appearance alongside Brad Pitt in Inglourious B*sterds, at the Vanity Fair Oscars party two nights ago.

And because she's ever so discreet (detect the sarcasm) she's been namedropping him all over Twitter, and has since been spotted kissing him in a car.

We're not sure what to say. But we're sure if we thought of something it would sound something like this: RUN ELI. SHE MIGHT TRY AND MARRY YOU!