We'd water his elephant. Don't care if that doesn't make sense.
OK, let's just talk about Water For Elephants for a minute. We saw it last night and BLOODY BENZINI it's good. Seriously. Reese Witherspoon may just be the most gorgeous woman we've ever seen and wears an enviable wealth of beautiful, silky gowns; Christoph Waltz is suitably terrifying and amazing, and Robert Pattinson is...well. A bit crap really.
JOKES. He's incredible. There are teary moments, angry moments - moment so tense you have to stop yourself from shouting OH HOLY FRICK! There are chases, beatings, snogs, sex, gorgeous animals, and Rob with his shirt off, generally being quite sweaty and dirty for the entire film - what more could you want!
Anyway, on a slightly less frantically crazy note (just about), Robert Pattinson and Christoph Waltz strutted down the red carpet for the Water For Elephants premiere in Germany last night.
Rob looked dashing in his brown suit, and Christoph cracked many a smile and made us believe he's not actually as scary as he is in the film after all. We're still a bit wary though.
Click next for the rest of the pictures...