Do we need Jeremy Kyle to come and sort this out?
Last week the world became a better place when pictures emerged of Niall Horan topless in Marbella. Sure he may have been jumping in the pool like a 10-year-old, and sipping cocktails that looked like they belong in a Wham! vid; but seeing him in those board shorts really was awe-inspiring. No really.
However, while the magic happened for the majority of the female population, there is one lady who wishes that Nialler had holidayed in the Isle of Wight like the rest of us, and that’s his “mystery girl” Ruth Hicks.
The One Direction singer was pictured whispering into the 26-year-old’s ear and looking pretty flirty; and now after seeing the pictures Ruth’s fiancé Joe Adkins, 32, wants nothing to do with her.
When she returned home to Portsmouth she received a text saying, “Pack your things, it’s over”, and had to give back her diamond ring.
“We only spent about 15 minutes in each other’s company and we didn’t kiss,” she told The Sun.
“Niall seemed a sweet boy and I think he fancied his chances with me. He was very flirty. But I told him I was engaged and he moved on.”
If being engaged wasn’t enough, Ruth also confessed that she’s immune to Nialler’s insane arms – charms. Whatever.
“He’s not my type anyway — he’s too young, too puny and too short. And I am very much in love with my fiancé.”
Ruth added: “Joe feels like I have humiliated him. But I love him more than anything and would do anything to get him back.
"It’s all just a giant misunderstanding but he won’t even see me so I can’t explain.”
Joe simply commented: “Seeing my fiancée with that boy was so hurtful.”
After all that drama the only thing that can help us return to normal is to watch the topless video again. You understand.
Lesson of the story: Don’t talk to Irish boys drinking girly cocktails.