We've been staring into our crystal ball... *cough*


2012 has been a good year for celebrity news. Miley Cyrus and Liam Hemsworth getting engaged, Harry Styles being linked to every female within a 5m radius and that time Liam Payne shaved his head are all good examples.

With that in mind, we've decided to go a bit mystic meg on yo' asses, and try and predict the future. Well, we say try - we've actually just made up loads of funny stories and are praying that they come true in 2013.

stories for 2013

1. Niall Horan opens his own chain of chicken shops to rival Nando's - and calls it Nialldo's. Anyone who can finish a whole chicken in under ten minutes is allowed to meet the Blonde Bombshell himself. Anyone who orders a salad is instantly asked to leave.

2. Marvin and Rochelle call their baby after one of their name smushes - Marvelle or ROCHVIN. We like the latter, it sounds sort of Russian, and also a bit sinister.

3. Miley Cyrus starts to regret cutting off all her hair - so shaves ALL of Liam Hemsworth's locks off while he sleeps and attempts to stick them onto her own bonce.

4. Justin Bieber legally changes his name to 'Swag'.

stories we want to see in 2013

5. Harry Styles adopts an ACTUAL COUGAR, and calls it Caroline. When Louis gets too sassy, Harreh threatens to feed him to her.

6. Ed Sheeran announces his intention to collaborate with Taylor Swift's cat on his next album.

7. Robert Pattinson is caught doing the dirty on Kristen Stewart - with TAYLOR LAUTNER. They then hold a press conference to announce they are in love.

8. The Wanted and One Direction decide to sort out their differences, and head to a yoga retreat together. They form an everlasting friendship after Zayn helps Max master the downward dog, and Louis spends an afternoon plaiting flowers into Jay's hair.

selena gomez

9. Selena Gomez gets a face tattoo.

10. Taylor Swift's ex-boyfriends decide to get revenge, and record their own album entitled 'There's Two Sides Every Story'. With tracks including: 'I didn't want to get back together with you anyway', 'I'm really not that mean' and 'Dear Taylor' it's an instant hit. Jakey G is on drums.

11. Demi Lovato reveals that 'The Pink Taco' - where she and Niall famously went on a 'date' has been an actual euphimism for her vajay all along.

So there you have it people - our predictions for 2013. *cough* Whaddya reckon - would you like to see any come true?