Cupcake boobs and emotional breakdowns
So what’s it about then?
Being billed as ‘the 3D music event of the summer’, Katy Perry and her big spinny tits take us on the California Dreams tour along with some clips from her childhood, the beginnings of her music career, and the gradual breakdown of her marriage.
Having already been to see the tour, we were clearly in it for the divorce footage – which was covered in a lot more detail than we were expecting. (Yes, we’re shallow, we write about celebrities and willies for a living, what do you expect?)
Anyone good in it?
Well that Katy Perry chick is pretty famous, and Russell Brand pops in and out (ooh err) a few times. We also see little clips from Rihanna, Adele, Jessie J and Justin Bieber telling us all how great K-Pez is. It’s a celebrity smorgasboard and we wanted to motorboat it.
CRY-O-METER, what goes down?
OMG IT’S AN ATTACK OF THE TEARS. Ok, well not quite, but the no-holds-barred coverage of her emotional descent around her divorce made for pretty uncomfortable viewing at times. At one point Katy is splayed out on a chair pushing out the tears like Niagara Falls, and she almost cancels a performance because of it. The candid footage of Katy holding herself up against the wall, sobbing her heart out before she slaps on a smile and gets raised up on stage made one of Sugarscape actually cry themselves. But we won’t name and shame, will we Lauren?
Music maestros will love:
If you missed out on Katy’s California Dreams tour, this film is essentially a front row ticket. We see Katy doing some serious-faced chat about Alanis Morissette, and her set-list plays almost chronologically alongside what we see happening in her personal life. The impact of Katy belting out Not Like The Movies after we see her sprawled out and sobbing about her marriage is pretty full-on.
If it won any Oscars they would be for…
Watching the California Dreams tour in 3D is AMAZING. Her boobs spin in our faces, confetti is thrown out at us and we left feeling like we had glitter in our hair. Also – not really part of the film – but the 3D glasses are pink and blue, an obvious bonus. Footage from when Katy was a cute little girl singing songs about Jesus was brilliant, and her Nan is a living legend.
But these bits should have been left on the cutting room floor:
Right at the beginning, before the film even starts, there’s a singalong to The One That I Want from Grease. Although we’re obviously big fans of J-Travz from back in the day, we don’t want Grease, we want Katy Perry. Grease can nob off (for now).
Not really any topless men, but Katy’s boobs in 3D are SUMMIN ELSE.
We’re sure the old footage of Katy as a geeky teen makes her die inside a little bit, but it was actually all pretty cute, showing us how desperate Katy was to get into the industry from a young age. How endearing.
Notes from the fashion police:
ALL of Katy’s tour outfits are incredible; Hershey'sKisses boobs, cupcake boobs, spinny boobs, skirts out of baked goods, a massive peacock tail and light-up dresses are just a few of the highlights. It’s EXHAUSTING.
After watching this, on the manly-man scale (of Louis Tomlinson – Sylvester Stallone) we felt like:
Gok Wan. Being surrounded by that much fairy dust, sparkles and candy canes doesn’t do much for our testosterone levels, but we really wanted to honk her boobs.
(OMG = amazing, LOL = funfest, MEH = would maybe watch again if nothing at all was on, FML = never, ever again)
LOL. A brilliant insight into life as Katy Perry (and a crackin’ advert for her next massive tour), we feel like we’re bezzie mates with the Pezter after watching that. Plus, we’ll need to watch it loads more to get our fix of her Nan.
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Behind the scenes of Katy Perry's California Dreams tour