Tears, tantrums and a lone microphone...
Tonight kicked off the first episode of this year’s X Factor. Whoop whoop, goodbye social lives an’ all that.
The original Captain Sensible Gary Barlow, veteran Louis Walsh, and gurl from dem streetz Tulisa were back on the panel with newbie Nicole ‘X Factor USA wouldn’t have me back’ Scherzinger. Spice Girl Mel B was in it a bit as a guest judge and she was WELL RUDE. But we kind of liked it.
So what the hell went on? It was the usual array of misfits, oddballs and people with some genuine talent at the auditions. There were two stand out auditionees for us were super geek / nerd (he’s not sure which one to go with), Curtis, and 16-year-old singer / songwriter Ella.
Curtis gave an awesome, quirky rendition of Christina Aguilera’s Candy Man in front of his childhood idol Mel B, who in turn shot him down and told him he was irritating. Well they do say never meet your heroes…
Ella already sings like a total star and performed a song that she written which was inspired by her granddad. Oh god, we’re choking up. In fact her song was so awesome Tulisa, who’s like well’ard init, went and found her backstage and hug her.
And then there was Zoe Alexander…
Most dramatic part of the show?
Zoe was a P!nk tribute act who the judges thought didn’t have enough of her own “identity” to go through. Then things took a turn for the interesting. Zoe insisted that the judges told her to do P!nk, to which they denied. (However we can’t help but feel that she meant she was told by all the producers that contestants go through during earlier stages.)
Soon, with the aid of some X Factor editing, Zoe went a bit bonkers. She threw her microphone on the floor, stormed off, came back on with her dad, stormed back off and attacked some set and a camera.
Best (because it was so awful) camera angle?
Zoe’s lone microphone discarded on the stage. We think they were going for drama, but come on people, a microphone is just a bloody microphone.
Dermot’s Disappointed With Zoe face. Shattering.
And this week’s cheesiest line was sponsored by:
Nicole Scherzinger. “I’m a scary bitch.” Um, no. Just no.
Reckon we saw any finalists tonight?
You know what, we reckon both Curtis and Ella have a shot of making it through to the live shows, although we’re a little worried that Ella may have it in her to turn a bit Janet Devlin.
One a scale of Meh to AGH how excited are we about this series?
Oohhhh. Tonight’s wasn’t too bad, but we’re a bit concerned that ol’ Scherzy is going to be a bore. What did you make of tonight’s show?
IMAGES: ITV PICTURES