For the love of biscuits, will one of them lend us a tenner?
Uncle Si himself nabbed the number one spot by quite a margin - with rumoured earnings of 225m to second place Susan Boyle's 22m.
TWO. HUNDRED. AND. TWENTY. FIVE. MILLION. Bladdy Nora.
One Direction meanwhile, came in at a respectable numero three - supposedly after banking a cool 20m. Each.
Which technically puts them at second place, if you add it all together - but we're not ones to quibble.
NOW GET READY FOR SOME STATS.
Out of the top 50 that made the list - published by Now magazine - half are alumni from singing-based shows such as The X Factor and Pop Idol, while seven made their big bucks after appearing on 'dramality' shows like TOWIE and Made in Chelsea.
Meanwhile five of the high-earners come from Britain's Got Talent, five from Big Brother, two from the apprentice and one lonely fella from Dragon's Den.
We're not being funny, right, but surely Uncle Si wouldn't miss one measly million? Go on Simon, chuck it our way?
Click next for the Top 20 >>>