Totally scientific and not at all plucked out of thin air
Since One Direction burst onto the music scene in 2010 after coming third on The X Factor, they've amassed a combined total of 82.5 MILLION followers on Twitter - making getting noticed by one of the boys a pretty challenging task.
But short of hunting them down and demanding they hit the follow button (DON'T DO THAT) what can you do to get your 5/5? Here's our top 10 totally serious tips. Ahem.
1. Make a couple of billion pounds and buy Twitter. Then you can pretty much do what you want, right?
2. Tweet them various 1D lyrics in the form of a pick up line. E.g - 'You make me drool down my chinny chin chin'.
3. Post a tweet once a week or so that makes absolutely no sense. (Harry)
4. Pretend to be someone giving away free chicken. (Niall)
5. Grafitti his name on your bedroom wall. (Zayn) WARNING: this may not go down too well with your parents.
6. Pose as a safety inspector with a specialty in securing snake habitats. (Liam)
7. Become the human version of a cup of tea. Then he can't go to bed without you. Heh. (Louis)
8. Pretend to be an abandoned headrag. He's got a soft spot for those. (Harry)
9. Post the scariest clip from the scariest movie you can find, in the hope that one of them reads it and jumps so hard their mouse clicks the follow button.
10. Give up and aim for a follow from the best fake accounts instead.
Whaddya reckon? Helpful? There is, of course, also some practical advice from Harold himself: