Five minutes? Oh you hussy!

It’s a fast paced world we’re living in and sometimes you need to cut the crap and just get snogging. (This isn’t something we advocate, it’s just an opening line that suits this story well.)

With this in mind you need to know just how you can pull One Direction’s Zayn Malik in five minutes.

What can you do that’ll have Zayn looking at you solemnly and maybe even singing a bit in your face? Handstands? The splits? Your best Simon Cowell impression?

Er, no. Click next to find out what.