Or something like that.
Yes, we are very serious journalists thank you very much.
When it comes to Harry Styles, there are many animals that come to mind - a cheeky chimp, a frisky puppy - perhaps even a particularly cute looking hippo (it's the nostrils, you see).
However, it seems Hazza has his own ideas about what creature he'd like to be. And it's none of the above.
Harry Styles wants to be a hamster.
That's the only logical explanation for this photo - posted on the One Direction twitter account yesterday - which shows the Hazman stuffed into some sort of rodent exercise ball.
Either that, or he's being kept prisoner by some over-enthusiastic 1D fans - who are planning to chase him down a hill in that thing, while screaming the lyrics to Gotta Be You.
Do you have any better explanations?