The taken lads head for some drinks, whilst the single ones watch naked ladies. (And Zayn is MIA).

Because one birthday night out just obviously isn’t cool, Harry Styles took his mates on LADS ON TOUR 2.0 last night to celebrate turning 19. His posse included Niall Horan (obviously, ‘cause he’s ultimate lad), best pal Nick Grimshaw, ex t4 presenta Miquita Oliver and Pixie Geldof.

Harry Styles

Oh look at that smile. SWOON.

But whilst Harry was ‘avin it large over in uber-trendy East London and having a lovely lady rotate her arse in his face to celebrate the occasion, Liam Payne and Louis Tomlinson were having a slightly more chilled evening with a few drinks over at Funky Buddha on the other side of the city.

We imagine that Eleanor and Danielle probably weren’t over the moon at the idea of there being strippers at Harry’s shindig, so maybe the lads were playing it safe for their wifeys. Good boys.

Liam Pyne

We interupt this article for a very important message.

Liam Payne hair

Liam and Louis were also joined by Conor Maynard, randomly enough. OH HEY CONOR, in your delightful woollen jacket.

Conor Maynard

Meanwhile Hazwan le birthday boy did a bit of fist pumping and shot gargling until the wee hours of the morning. On his way home, he was apparently a little unsteady and had to be held up by his security. Meh, living by the golden and failsafe rule of ‘go hard or go home’.

(He was also joind by a mystery blonde, but we won’t say too much about that one seeing as no one really knows who she is. Birthday sex.)

BUT WHERE IS ZAYN MALIK, we hear you cry. Well, we don't know. Soz. Mending broken hearts and hands probably.