Forget all this 'quitting' twoddle - the Bradford Bad Boi aint going anywhere.


Earlier today there were all sorts of rumours flying about that suggested Zayn Malik could be about to quit One Direction.

Thankfully, the boys PR company cleared everything up by branding the speculation 'completely untrue' (phew) but all the quitting talk did get us thinking - about reasons why Zayn would NEVER leave 1D.

zayn malik will not leave one direction

Have a look over the top ten we've compiled below, and comfort yourselves with the undeniable factual evidence - Zayn is here to stay.

1. One Direction are secretly a team of undercover superheroes. If one of them leaves, they all lose their superpowers and become mere mortals once more. Also, Zayn really likes the spandex costumes they wear while fighting crime.

2. Free hairdressing. There's no way Zayn would give up his regular barnet upkeep - especially not when it's the fabulous Lou Teasdale holding the scissors.

zayn malik will never leave one direction

3. The other boys would cry. And nobody wants to see that. In fact, it's been said that every time Niall Horan sheds a tear, so does baby Jesus.

4. Who on earth would teach the rest of the boys how to pull off the perfect pout?

5. 1D would lose at least 38% of their collective tattoos. That's just not cool.

6. Louis would unleash the sass. And as everyone knows, you don't want to get on the wrong side of the sasquatch.

7. He's scared of being attacked by badgers. He only just managed to prize that last one off his head, and without Niall to act as bodyguard he's terrified of being set upon in a dark woodland alley.

badger quiff

8. He would no longer be able to express himself through the medium of sexy dancing, after finally coming to terms with the fact that the world needs his crotch thrusts.

9. He would no longer have Liam to hold his hand/give him a stern telling off every time he gets a new tattoo.

10. He's having TOO MUCH FUN touring the world, being adored worldwide and fulfilling his dream with four of his best friends. DUH.

So there you have it. All COMPLETELY true, obviously. What do you reckon? Laugh and roll your eyes at this video of Perez Hilton saying One Direction are 'troubled' (PAH) while you mull it over.

 

Zayn Malik is *not* leaving One Direction: official statement here

One Direction will give fans a sneak peek of their movie TOMORROW

Images: PA/Twitter