Introducing 'Horizontally Striped: The Album'


One of our favourite things about Taylor Swift is her ability to slag off all her famous ex-boyfriends in song and completely get away with it. Now consider these rumours about her, One Direction's Harry Styles and their supposed romance that we keep hearing about.

Nobody seems to have any clue whether there's even a sliver of truth in them, but forget any objections you might have for a second and consider what would happen if they dated, broke up and then she wrote an entire album about the ins and outs of being his girlfriend.

IMAGINE HOW INCREDIBLE THAT WOULD BE. Mainly because we assume it would be full of tracks with hidden double meanings for old (shag) times' sake.

It's Horizontally Striped, Taylor Swift's Harry Styles themed break up album

With that in mind we would like to introduce you to 'Horizontally Striped', Taylor Swift's newest and as yet most imaginary album. Featuring hit tracks ‘Bow Tie Blues’, ‘Dear Anne’, 'Show Us Your Bus Pass' and number one single ‘Speak Now. No Really, Our Break Up Has Already Lasted 97 Minutes Because You Speak So Bloody Slowly’ - you are clearly in for a treat.

However, we’re most interested in the newest single on the album. Mainly because it has given us a few clues who the whole thing is all about. There’s also a special guest on the track, a collaborator you might say. You will probably recognise him for his red hair and intimate knowledge of Hazza’s willy.

Check out the (admittedly terrible) lyrics by clicking next >>