Um, this isn't quite what we remember happening...
You may have heard us NON STOP BANGING ON ABOUT being on a plane with Rihanna last year. We were some of the 150 members of the press fooled into going around the world as part of RiRi’s 777 Tour, with the hopes of getting an insight into Rihanna’s life, a promised press conference in each country, and a performance from the lady herself in 7 countries visited over 7 days.
Well, the gigs happened, at least.
The tour has been captured in a documentary (77 mins and 7 seconds long, no joke of a lie) set to air on Fox in America next week ahead of its release on DVD – and which shows a very different experience to the one had by press and fans alike who were on board the
hell plane 777 jet with the crotch-grabbing captor.
The adventure starts off enthusiastically enough, showing journalists, competition winners and Rihanna herself bubbling over with excitement in the face of the incredible week they’re about to rub their faces in. We see Rihanna on the plane pouring drinks down throats and chatting away, and everyone’s pretty frickin’ pleased.
The plane touches down in Mexico for the first stop, and everything goes down the crapper. What we don’t see or hear about in the documentary is the approx. four hour delay before Rihanna came on stage that night, leaving the crowd to suffer the misery of DJ Congorock’s incessant machine noises for 3 hours and 59 minutes longer than anyone should ever have to. This remains a theme for the rest of the tour – which was as famously delayed as it was, um… well that’s about all it was famous for really.
The biggest delay we’re privy to in the documentary is Rihanna running 45 minutes late in London, as the cameras follow her around partying backstage while her entire plane is rolling into their third hour of waiting in a stationary bus or plane on some tarmac in some country somewhere.
In Stockholm we see the flight attendants from the jet tell us how excited they are to watch the show, and then a straight cut to Rihanna performing. In real life, we saw the flight attendants leave the venue two hours later when Rihanna still wasn’t on stage, as they had to set up for an early flight the next morning. They were gutted to miss the gig. Again.
In Berlin we see none of the crowd booing our tardy hostess, nor any of the “GET A F**KING WATCH” chants coming from the angry audience who were creeping out of their second hour of delays. We did see a bit of the “riot” plane with the naked Australian (who tells the camera “I don’t deal with travel well” two flights before his streaking), which looked like a child’s nap time in comparison to the real deal.
Obviously if the nature of the lag time had been included in as much detail to be a true reflection of the 777 tour the documentary would be a total downer, but it’s a bit of a kick in the balls that it’s not even mentioned. The programme shows Rihanna defending herself as not being able to please everyone and having to look after her voice, which does beg the question; “What was the point then, love?”
We do see a performance from RiRi in every country, which although great, wears a little thin by the end. This is meant to be a tour capturing experience, not a Live DVD, right? Unless you’re a HUGE Rihanna fan or have weird invested interests and Stockholm Syndrome like we do, there’s not really anything here to keep you watching.
As the final show ends in New York and Rihanna heads backstage to down some bubbly with Jay-Z and celebrate the finale, we were just as glad to be away from it all as she was.
To see our perspective of the tour, check out our 777 diaries below:
Rihanna pours booze down the throats of her 777 plane passengers – video
An Australian streaks and the rest of the Rihanna Plane goes MENTAL – delirious update from midway through the tour
"Not much has happened" - a boring update from midway through the tour
A party in a sex dungeon and a French man dressed as a turtle - the tour reaches its stride in Paris
“There were 30 shots and Rihanna served them all” – a fan’s night out with Rihanna in Stockholm, exclusive quotes from 777