If you thought you heard the faint sound of rubber doctor's gloves snapping onto someone's wrist this morning then you'd be correct, because One Direction are about to be probed in all of their deepest nooks and crannies.
Luckily however, it's the nooks and crannies of their bank accounts that are up for investigation, because rather than having something long and metal shoved up their you-know-what, it's actually a TAX PROBE that they're facing.
And the only way we could make that sound vaguely interesting was to pretend they were being actually probed. SORRY.
In news that might send you to sleep unless you dream of becoming an accountant someday, One Direction are facing a tax probe over a controversial financial scheme.
If we keep making slightly gross probing jokes in reference to their bums, will you continue to read this please? Hope the doctor's hands aren't cold.
According to The Sun, 1D have turned their shares in 1D Media into an 'alphabet' structure, which is apparently some kind of complicated, lower tax loop-hole that inspectors frown upon. Sneaky little hobbitses.
Experts have warned that, although the set-up is totally legal, it's likely to trigger an investigation by HM Revenue and Customs, with an expert explaining: "In light of the millions of pounds One Direction make every year, I'd expect investigators to look at their structure very closely indeed."
Oh those boys LOVE a full, investigative probe.
So now that we've talked about taxes and revenue, you can't ever say that we don't address the serious news. Thoughts on all of this probing action to us on Twitter please, we're @Sugarscape.
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