Not that we're planning on chaining them to their instruments for all time, but yeah, we might consider it - if push comes to shove.
Thankfully, they're already back on the road to kick off Part 2 of their North American tour, and we've decided this is a good moment to retire our once-epic post of the 67 highlights from Part 1. Let's all start afresh.
1. Ashton spent a fair bit of time sweeping the stage floor with his body.
2. Luke taught the crowd how to count. Helpful.
3. Malum had a moment that will echo through eternity.
4. Ashton posted a video of himself brushing his teeth.
5. Luke had the calmest reaction to being told his fly was undone.
6. We were almost blessed with a 5SOS cover of Flo Rida.
7. Luke actually used Snapchat for the first time potentially ever.
Okay, not actually.
8. Calum asked the important questions in life.
9. Ashton went hard on the drums.
Really we just wanted to post this pic.
10. And this message filled our hearts with joy.
11. Calum revealed their backstage antics include plates of salmon.
12. Calum wore ripped blue jeans, AND YEAH, WOW.
13. And Michael found the right words to describe Calum.
That was a very Calum-heavy segment, but we have no regrets.
14. People had a lot of feelings about pretty much everything.
15. An actual guitar battle happened during 'Castaway.'
16. And Michael had the entire crowd in the palm of his hand.
SALT LAKE CITY.
17. Ashton went on stage dressed as Rena from Hey Violet.
18. Michael and Ashton discussed a reunion tour next year.
19. Ashton cracked this joke and we still fancy him.
20. Ashton looked more fetus than we thought humanly possible.
21. Luke released all his inhibitions during 'Girls Talk Boys.'
22. An actual party broke out at the end of the concert.
23. Michael and Calum played basketball before the show and these pictures happened.
24. Everyone decided Calum should start his own audiobook series.
25. Malum were at PEAK Malum with all their cute hijincks.
26. Ashton told the crowd to fill the floor for peak 5SOS experience.
27. Which everyone (bar security) thought was a pretty cool move.
28. Basically, they broke all the rules 'cos they're loveable rebels.
29. Michael temporarily forgot how to spell Portland.
30. Calum almost missed his cue and had to scurry to his mic.
31. Ashton was casually hanging around the merch stand, because why not?
32. They paid tribute to San Francisco by playing an acoustic version of 'San Francisco.'
33. John Feldmann lived our wildest dreams and stage-crashed the show.
34. Ashton ran into the crowd and potentially risked his own life.
35. Niall Horan got the biggest shout out from his second band.
36. Michael fixed Luke's random bit of hair and reignited all our Muke feels.
37. Michael had strong feeling about all the dabbing going on.
38. They sang 'Wrapped Around Your Finger', which is newsworthy in itself.
39. Everyone at the show had tickets to the Forum under their seats.
40. It was generally considered the best show ever.
41. Ashton was the ultimate tease, as per bloody usual.
42. This clip basically ruined people's lives. Including ours.
43. Niall Horan was present and had the absolute time of his life.
44. Michael did this cute thing which deserves a point, we're sure you'll agree.
45. We all needed a moment of silence after this guitar solo.
46. Michael answered correctly when asked about what tour he'd like to revisit.
47. The band had a whole lot of love for Phoenix in their hearts.
48. Muke were not so stellar at the whole dabbing thing.
49. Michael gave us hope for this being an actual thing that could realistically happen.
50. Luke worked out like this and we just had to post the image.
51. Ashton unleashed his talent on the backstage drums.
52. Michael had difficulty with the spelling of Albuquerqe but loved it nevertheless.
53. A random girl dressed up as a banana and completely stole the show.
54. Luke confessed to being a 40 year old man in a 20 year-olds body.
55. Michael was thankful for literally everything about Calum Hood and wasn't shy about it.
56. Luke did a note change in 'Vapor' and everyone lost their damn minds.
57. Michael announced that Muke is dead and the crowd went into mourning.
58. Meanwhile Malum grew in strength out of the ashes of Muke.
59. Luke played the guitar with his actual teeth because that boy has talent.
60. Ashton got shirtless on Snapchat and yeah, wow, it happened.
61. Jesus Christ we couldn't even cope with all the Malum on display.
62. The last day of their North American tour came around and approximately no-one was ready.
63. A pizza party happened on stage because that's what happens when you go to a 5SOS show.
64. The crowd at Houston won a very prestigious award and we were all jealous.
65. Meanwhile Calum Hood paid tribute to their sexy crew and thanked the fans for everything.
Your thoughts on this? Let us know with a tweet @sugarscape or drop us a comment in the box below.