Looks like Luigi isn’t so JLo after all. We’re gutted.
We used to be kept awake at nights worrying about what would happen if Louis Tomlinson somehow injured his bum. Who would look after him? Would his family be taken care of financially? And what would Harry Styles use as a pillow?
You can imagine out relief then upon hearing that his derriere had been insured for £100,000, much like JLo’s.
Now though LTo has denied these bum rumours and in fact seems quite baffled by them. URRRM WHAT?
“Very funny story, but why?” said the One Direction hottie to Hot 99.5. “I’m not gonna lose it, am I? Why insure it?”
“He’s not gonna break his bottom, it’s built for comfort,” said Liam Payne, expert that he is.
Still tormented as to why someone would insure their bum, Louis continued to wonder: “If you sit on a pin and it deflates? Or you wake up one day and there is no bum there, it’s just a back.”
Why yes Louis, have you not heard the mystery of the disappearing bottoms? It’s really is quite terrifying. In fact if you want to give us 100 grand then we’ll ensure to give you round the clock protection, it’s only slightly invasive.