Don't cry, this situation is not worth your tears.
Directioners, we have some distressing news for you. It would seem that there is someone, on the face of the whole earth, who has not heard of One Direction. Don’t worry, we’re as disgusted as you are.
And who is this person, who has obviously been living under a rock? Madonna.
Can you believe it?
This bombshell was revealed on a television show of all places, so it really is the truth. She said:
‘That’s a pop group, right? Sorry, I haven’t seen them yet, no, sorry.
She continued: ‘Slap my hand.’
Damn right we’re going to slap your hand. And then we’re going to send you to bed without any supper.
Hang your head in shame missy.
We said hang your head, not hold, but whatever.
We’re a little bit confused by all of this to be honest because not only does Madonna have a 15 year old daughter, Lourdes Leon, but One Direction are EVERYWHERE at the moment.
Surely someone near to Madonna must have spotted something about them. Or heard the screams.
Maybe, just maybe, she was fibbing. We really hope so.