..And threatens to cut off his arm
We often wonder what Ed Sheeran and his shorts get up to when they're not flapping about on stage and if this behind the scenes UK tour diary is anything to go by, we'd say it generally involves cuddling up with Harry Styles and Niall Horan before casually threatening to cut off his arms.
Having been on tour for so long that we sometimes wonder if he was expelled straight from the womb and into a dressing room, Ed has decided to post a behind the scenes diary from his latest jaunt around the country.
There's none of the usual throwing tellys through windows that popstars seem to enjoy so much and instead Ed seems to prefer looking at half naked dolls with One Direction members, being serenaded by Example and showing off his arm tattoos.
He even took the camera along when he got his latest Taylor Swift tatt, but you don't have to worry about what's going to happen if they were ever to fall out as apparently young Edward has already got a plan that seems to involve hacking off a chunk of his own arm.
If Hary Styles swearing will offend your sensitive ears, you may want to look away in a scandalised manner now. Otherwise, crack on.
While we'll give you 10/10 for creativity, we can't help thinking it would be less painful if you stuck a nice Harry Styles sticker over the tatt if that ever does happen Eddy.
What do you think about all these tour shenanigans?