AAGGHH WE HAVEN'T SLEPT FOR *DAYS*
Rihanna’s made the bold decision to invite 200 members of the press and fans aboard a private jet to celebrate her 7th album Unapologetic, and experience her crotch grabbing in person (so far none on the plane, frickloads on the stage, more to come).
As soon as we get on board (after checking out the snack carts, obvs) RiRi’s over the intercom asking if we’re ready for tequila, and telling us all to “get druuuuuuuuunk!” before trotting down the aisles herself once we've taken off, handing out champagne and cognac – pouring shots down passengers’ throats and being HOUNDED by the ENTIRE PLANE (scroll down for video).
She's barely been gone for ten minutes before SHE’S BACK for round two, doing much of the same, while ‘Diamonds’ is pumped out over the intercom and there’s a w*nky press-party sing-along thing.
The rest of Unapologetic follows – er, but the air conditioning’s a bit loud to hear it, so we’ll review that later, yeah?
Booze is flowing, music’s blasting, everyone’s standing up (making the guys next to us worry that “the plane might tip over”) and anyone who fancied getting some rest on the journeys in between shows can get stuffed. Rihanna’s having a party plane and no fan, photographer or lovely person from Sugarscape is allowed to sleep.
She also announces that in the goody bags on our chairs is a teensy little diamond necklace - as in, she's given us diamonds, in the sky. GEDDIT? (We'll admit someone else had to point that out for us, we're pretty jetlagged, give us a break...)
One we'd hopped off the plane and spent 2 hours in Mexico City traffic, Rihanna stomped through a glistening set of our favourites, including new track Fresh Out The Runway. Here's the setlist, if you'd care to have a gander;
Talk That talk
Wait Your Turn
Fresh Out The Runway
Take A Bow
Hate That I Love You
Where Have You been
What’s My name
Run This Town (a little bit)
Live Your life
All Of The lights
We Found Love
After arriving an hour and a half late to the stage because of "baggage issues," Rihanna's waiting fans really showed their dedication by standing through almost two hours of DJ Congorock's DRIVEL. We'll be giving that one a miss for the next six nights...
From the show it was straight on the plane to Toronto, where Rihanna decided she'd get her bags herself thanks very much because "it's my sh*t", LOOK, THERE SHE IS QUEUING LIKE THE REST OF US PLEBS.
So Toronoto is where we are now - in a hotel room with a spinny head and absolutely no sense of time or date. There's a show tonight and rumours of a press conference on the plane, after we jump on it straight from the show for an 8 hour jolly to Stockholm.
Check out Miss Fenty swanning around the plane. Ignore us, we look like a ghost with a drug problem. Ta.
Wifi's dodgier than a kids' special of Top Of The Pops from the 70s at the moment, but we're updating on Twitter and Instagram whenever we can so keep an eye on there until we get to stick more videos an' ting up here.
We're off to be sick in our Rihanna socks.